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and if not.

Raising up Rubies
sometimes i get comfortable
very comfortable

and life just isn’t comfortable guys
it’s messy.
it’s ugly.
it’s hard.




two huge things i’ve already known 
but came to life for me these past few weeks
 joy.
happiness.
joy & happiness.
yeah those two things.

they seem like they go together don’t they
when really fact of the matter is
they’re nothing alike
they’re just. nothing. alike.
they are competing forces

happiness is based on the things of this life.
temporary things
things that make us smile and feel good for a time.
but then the moment’s gone
 sometimes it’s just the everyday
sometimes it’s sadness
sometimes it’s grief
disappointment
hard things
and the moment is gone
sometimes it’s a moment you thought would never leave
or change
but it’s gone.

that’s when joy steps in
or does it.





it only steps in if we let it.
i struggle to see past the yucky (non-happy)
moments enough to let it in.
…long enough to let it in.

i need to fall back
fall back on something
someone.
Someone.
i just can’t do it on my own
i’m learning to fall back on the Giver of Joy
the one who through the worst suffering 
of a slow & painful death on a rugged piece of wood
was elated with joy. to give His life for mine

last time i checked i’m not on a rugged piece of any kinda wood
i don’t have nails in my hands
and i’m really not slowly suffocating to death
to be honest i’m sitting in front of a bright screen
in a beautiful home
with a cup of hot chocolate
and.
it has whipped cream
yeah.
whipped cream

joy
in every sense of the word
based on those criteria
should be easy to find
easy to apply
it should always be around
but it’s not.
and i want it to be.
i’m desperate for it
i’m tired of being a slave to my emotions. my feelings
a slave to things i can. not. control.
yeah those things.
i’m tired of them. 
they exhaust me.
but joy.
God help me see it
help me feel it in Your Presence
in Your Light
let it soak into the deepest darkest places that i did not even know were hidden
revealing all the yuck 
let it be my song
let it be my song
always.


so i’m thinking…
if joy had a motto
like a slogan sorta…
it would be this


the print was drawn by me 🙂
you can purchase a copy in my shop
and i will mail it to you all fancy like on some nice paper

coincidentally … 
(don’t really believe in coincidences, but anyways…)
our pastor talked about this very thing Sunday in church
and this post had been sitting in my draft folder all week


his sum up of the word joy…


” it’s the internal confidence that comes from knowing & trusting God 
regardless of what’s going on externally”


wurd.
hard truth.
but truth.


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Published by Raising up Rubies

29 thoughts on “and if not.”

  1. Thank you, Jaime! I too have had to seek out JOY in a relentlessly busy and angry world. God grants it freely, faithfully but I miss the simplicity of it sometimes. May your Joy be made complete IN HIM. Always a great place to rest!xoxSusan@SugarBeans.org

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  2. Raising my hand high in the air for getting too comfortable! He always has a way of challenging us, doesn't He? We may not like the journey but it's there for us to learn and grow from. I think it's His way of saying “hey girl, I'm not done with you yet!” 🙂 Chin up, buttercup ❤

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  3. So very, very true. Joy is nothing like happiness, as I have known for a long time. Sometimes we get the idea that they are interchangeable, which they certainly are not. But true joy is possible if we look beyond our circumstances to God — who, as you so wisely have shared — is still good. All the time. Thanks so much for sharing this. The print is lovely.

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  5. Such a rich post Jaime. Our pastor retold the story of Jesus betrayal from the kiss to the piercing of His side last Sunday and to be honest it was such a hard truth to sit through but if I should ever forget what He did for me I will have lost it all. Sometimes comfortableness with a side of whip cream can do that to us…cause us to forget. Thanks for hitting publish sweet lady.

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  6. Can I share your post on our Women's Ministry Blog and Facebook page? It is message that needs to be heard. Here is the link for you to review…Pattyhttp://ccvinspirewomen.com/

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  8. I've just found your blog recently and am really enjoying reading your posts. I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts and understanding on joy. God is the giver of it and we have to continually seek to do His will and then we will truly find it. Emotions are deceptive and misleading, happiness comes and goes, but joy is an attitude and a lifestyle we can choose despite circumstances. What a great print too – very pretty 🙂

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  10. I'm new to the blog world and I rarely ever comment on things, but this rings so true to me today. I was praying last night that I would be able to find Joy again and not be a slave to my emotions! Thank you for being so relatable and honest.

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  11. I was just thinking about this today. It's been a tough week and I started getting all wallowy in self pity and immediately I started thinking why do we do it. Why do we sabotage true joy worrying about our temporal happiness. It is so hard not to but this is an awesome reminder of why/how we can.

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  24. Love it. Makes me want to turn up Laura Story's song, “I Can Just Be Me” & sing {joy}fully – even when it's a whisper.Blessings & prayers to you, sweet/amazing/wonderfully-made/joyful sister!-Bess-

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  25. Dear Jaime~I just wanted to send you blessings today. I know you haven't been on your blog as much lately, so I just felt the urge to pray for you and tell you that you are so inspiring. Have an amazing weekend!~Joy

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  26. I am getting out my Bible journal right. now. and I am writing some quotes from this post into it so I can have them to look back on and pray on forever.Thank You.Amanda Rosehttp://sewmuchtosay.blogspot.com

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